I’m stronger than I thought I was

I'm stronger than I thought I was | robowecop

*Struggles to not use a Britney Spears ‘Stronger’ quote*

You know what’s shit? Redundancy. Redundancy is shit.

I feel like I’ve negatively talked/moaned/vented a lot about my recent life situation on here and on Twitter, but what I haven’t talked about is what it feels like to come out the other side.

In case you somehow haven’t seen (where have you been? I haven’t shut up about it yet), about a week and a half ago I was offered a new job almost 6 months after I was made redundant from my last job. It’s a REALLY exciting digital marketing position with some incredible opportunities (woah I sound so adult) and what’s best is that it’s a 5 minute walk from my house! Goodbye extortionate train fares and hello weekday lie ins!

Basically, today, I wanted to just have a little chat with you guys about what I’ve learned over the last 6 months and what’s going to be happening with my online life over the next few weeks. So, grab a cuppa and let’s have a bit of a heart to heart.

I’m not going to sugarcoat it – redundancy is the absolute worst. It has been the worst time of my life and I’ve been tested in so many ways. My mental health has been at an all time low, I lost a lot of enthusiasm for life in general, I have NO money, my diet has gone to shit, I’ve had to deal with rejection after rejection and, to be honest, I just got so tired.

Being made redundant so suddenly is a real blow. I didn’t work at my old job long enough to get any sort of payout (except for being given a month’s notice and therefore a month’s extra wage) and I was just left completely lost.

For those of you that don’t know, I did a design degree. Then, during a work placement year I started this blog, fell in love with writing/social media/the internet in general. I went back to University for my final year, realising I didn’t want to do design anymore and wanted to pursue a career in social media/content/digital marketing. Long story short, the company I worked at during my placement hired me to do just that and I was SO grateful, because I had no relevant degree and no experience (other than my blog, of course – which was pretty much the reason I got the job in the first place).

Having such a big career change with very little actual experience was a risk, and although it has paid off eventually, it didn’t stand me in good stead when I was let go from my old job. With interviews over the last 6 months, it was constantly a case of “you were up against one other person but they just had more experience”.

Meh, I got over it. Life happens and all that.

Anyway, back to the point. I HAVE A JOB AND REDUNDANCY IS SHIT.

I feel like this huge weight has been lifted. I can start planning for the future again, planning to move out of Joe’s parent’s house, planning to buy a car, planning to actually get my life moving again. I feel like for the past 6 months I’ve been at a total stand still and honestly, it’s been the worst feeling.

I mean, sure, I’m in a much worst position now than I would have been if I’d had a wage for the last 6 months. My savings have disappeared and I’m back at the bottom end of my £2k graduate overdraft. But, with a new job comes new opportunities. I’ll be spending nothing on travel, an Aldi has just opened down the road, I’m making more money off my blog than ever (even though it’s still nowhere near enough to live off) and I really feel like the future is finally looking bright again.

Over the past 6 months I’ve realised how strong I can be. I thought that this would completely break me, and although it’s been incredibly difficult, I don’t quite feel broken. My mental health is already back on the up knowing I’ll have stability again, I’m excited to get back to the gym (it’s only a 5 minute walk from work YES) and I’m honestly the happiest I’ve been in months.

I’m excited for the future. I’ve learned how strong I can be, how I AM capable of tackling difficult situations and it’s given me a huge boost of faith in myself. I kept reassuring myself that everything is temporary and I was right. I’ve come out the other side of a shitty situation much stronger than I ever could have imagined.

I’ve learned so much about myself, I feel like for the first time in my life I know who I am, what I want and how I cope with things. I’m becoming happier in myself and with myself because of it all. I didn’t believe it when people said it to me at the start, but I do think this could become one of the best things that’s happened to me.

In terms of the blog and YouTube, I don’t really know what’s happening but I know I’m going to be a little quieter in terms of content over the next few weeks. I tried to get some content scheduled last week to keep everything ticking over, but to be honest I didn’t do very well and there aren’t as many as I’d hoped. So, apologies if I go AWOL for a while. Gotta get re-used to a 9-5:30 job and all that.

The YouTube channel has been quiet for a couple of months and it will probably stay that way for the foreseeable future. Idk, I’ve kind of fallen out of love with it, but that’s that and we’ll see what happens.

This post has been v rambly and probably a little pointless but I DON’T CARE I HAVE A JOB.

Here’s to the future looking brighter, knowing we’re strong enough to tackle anything and the constant reassurance that everything is temporary.

And a big thank you to anyone and everyone online who were constantly there for me. You’re all the best and your kind words have kept me going. I love you all <3

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  • Also, I totally relate. Months ago I was unfairly and manipulatively weeded-out of a job and it really affected me in a detrimental way. I’d never been through that before but it wasn’t the first time I’d been messed around by employers and prospective employers, and to be honest that situation was the final straw for me.

    I did keep on applying for jobs but eventually I gave up and decided to go freelance and even though I don’t earn a lot, I’m so much happier and I am now open to a world of opportunities. I’d always wanted to go freelance but I’m so glad I took the plunge, plus after years of issues within the world of employment I have become disillusioned with the world of work and I’ve given up on the dream of a traditional 9-5 job because it’s not my dream and it’s not for me.

    So yeah, I’m much happier freelancing, and I am so glad I’m out of that toxic workplace with full of idiot bosses. Good riddance to bad rubbish! :)

    Good luck with your job. :)

    Chichi
    chichiwrites.com

  • Aw, I’m so happy for you. Congratulations! :)

    Chichi
    chichiwrites.com

  • Yay! Massive congratulations on the new job lovely, hope it goes well! xo

  • Love seeing your positive vibes on Twitter since the new job!

    Alice | alicemaysnell

  • So happy for you that you found a new job! Sometimes a change is best, and hopefully some more amazing opportunities will come your way because of it <3 Trying to find a job for graduation right now too, scary stuff haha.

    Sarah x / http://www.scarletstate.co.uk/

  • Becky Hughff

    So thrilled that you found this job! It sounds amazing and so nice to see you so positive again! :)

    http://www.ohsobecky.com

  • Totally great to hear about your new job! :) x

  • Girl, I’m so happy you found yourself a great job and it’s been awesome to hear how much you’ve been enjoying it! Go you for powering through such a shitty time. <3

    Katy / Katy Belle

  • This was a really inspiring post, Rhianna! I’m going to be graduating in a few months and while I’m fully aware I might be job hunting for a long time, I’m hoping I can snap one up really quickly and avoid being a burden on my bf’s dad and sister.

    Zoe Louise | http://www.zoelouiseharrington.com

  • I can totally resinate with this post. Last year I was made redundant as the company went into administration and although we had just over a months notice, I honestly felt like it was the end of the world. I had 2 months off without working but looking back, I had the best summer last year because I had time to just chill and do what I want. Now I’m at a Digital marketing apprenticeship, so I feel like I’m finally getting on the right track. I’m SO glad you have landed yourself a new job, and that it’s so local! I hope you have the best time and I’m looking forward to seeing what you get up to! :)

    Hannatalks

  • I’m so happy to hear about your new job! I was made redundant a few years ago and it really does feel like your world is ending. Congratulations and good luck! X

    Hollie | ItsHollieAnn.com

  • Ela

    I’m so happy for you, I hope everything turns out well. :)
    Ela | http://www.stealingyoursunbeams.wordpress.com

  • This post resinates with me so much. It’s this time last year that I was also made redundant. I absolutely despised my job and knew it was somewhere I wanted to leave regardless. But not leaving on my own means made my self esteem and all round general mental health plummet to an all time low. Looking back on a year ago I am so much happier than I’ve been in such a long time, and I think in that moment it’s hard to ever believe things are going to be better. But they are, and we’re here! All the best in your new job and hooray to fresh beginnings :)

    The Little Things x

  • I’m so glad for you on the whole job-thing! It really does sound like the perfect opportunity, and I’d say we all totally get you have to grab that with first hands, now! We’ll be here when you’ve settled in :)

  • Ellis Woolley

    Congrats on getting a new job – it all sounds very exciting & the only way is up now! I found this post very inspiring, thankyou so much for sharing! Ellis x

    http://www.elliswoolley.blogspot.com

  • Congrats again on the new job, must be such a great feeling – I’m also sorry to hear that the past six months have been rough, but you’re on the up again now which is always good to hear! I hope you enjoy this new job, so the best of luck to you gal!

    Lucy | Forever September

  • I’m so happy you’re feeling back to yourself now you’ve got a job! Although I’ll miss how much you’ve been on social media lately the amazing new job should be the priority. Well done!!

    Harriet | Shake This Town

  • I know exactly how you feel..I also was made redundant a few years back (well, the whole company folded so everyone got let go that day…) Worse. Thing. Ever.

    But you now have a fantastic opportunity that you will be starting and it’s all so exciting! Well done :) Frankie x

    http://www.joieandthevivre.com

  • Congratulations and best of luck with the future, I’m sure it will be great! Xx

    Kirsty | themondayproject.co.uk

  • So pleased for you! Good luck with the new job – and hope things continue to get better and better for you :D x http://www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

  • Congratulations on getting a new job!

    I can’t imagine being made redundant, it sounds like the absolute worst BUT you’ve come out the other side which is fab. I wish you the best of luck!x

  • Well done on your new job! I was always rooting for you on your lifestyle/rambly posts so I’m glad to hear its all good at the min :)

    moremindfulyou.blogspot.com

  • Leanne

    Congrats on your new job
    I know it has been hard a was out of a job for a bit everyday I applied to any and all jobs. I needed some form of income I knew my family couldn’t help me.
    This new job could be even better than your old one. That turned out to be the case with me and I am a lot more happier because of it.

  • Congratulations, that’s fab news. Good luck for your new job xx

    Rhi | http://www.rinkydinkyrhi.com

  • Charlie Elliott

    Woo! Congratulations! I’ve been made redundant before (3 months after moving to London which was greeeeeeeeeat) and it was unbelievably hard to pull myself out of the slump it put me in. But a few years down the line I’ve realised it’s the best thing that happened to me as I ended up in a much better job than the one I’d been let go from. Hope it all goes well!
    Cx

  • I’ve already congratulated on the new job but congratulations again! I was made redundant a few years ago and I know just how shitty it can be. Good luck!
    Jess
    alrightblondie.com

  • Tarryn B

    Yay!! So happy for you!!! I’ve been with my current company for five years now but before this, I was jobless for about nine months, and I can tell you now, it was the worst few months of my entire life.

  • YEY!!! I am so pleased for you good luck for your new job

  • I am so so so happy for you. I was once made redundant and it is one of the biggest blows you can come across in adult life. I feel for you. I’m so glad you are out of the other end & looking to the future, it’s exactly what you need! Lots of love and luck on your first day as always xxx

  • Kay

    Massive congratulations on the new job hun. Well done for being brave and admitting that you were on the wrong path and wanted to do something else. That takes some balls! Everything happens for a reason, and you are clearly meant to be in this job. Good luck xx

    Kay | diaryofa30something.com